10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...
.
.
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind...
What is it about the New Year that makes people create so many resolutions, boundaries and op ions of others and things associated with anything before 12 midnight ... which was er um just a second ago? So we Cheer, and we shake noise makers, throw streamers ... rock out with our jocks out to welcome in another 365 days.
What changed at midnight?
Did your bank account become flooded with millions? Did your circumstances or living quarters smell of roses and dandelion? How about the pumpkin of a car ... did it mysteriously turn into that four house powered beamer that you've been eyeing.
Things that may have changed at that moment... Your relationships with others after you became a belligerent drunk and jumped into the pool naked...Your dogs bowels since you decided to give it a New Years drink after all ... your job since you took it upon yourself to drunk dial your boss and say what you've really been feeling for the last 365 days... and last but not least your phone plan since you've used up all your anytime and where ever minutes texting people who are "Just not that into you" -- HELLOU
I just don't get the whole ideology behind "IT'S A NEW YEAR AND A BRAND NEW ME" ... c'mon. I mean obviously i get it -- but really?
No really?
CLIP!
Everyday is a new day ... I don't see anyone promoting any NEW DAY RESOLUTIONS PARTIES!!! At what point in the old year to you say forget it and chalk it up as a loss? 245 days? 120 days in? Where do all of your resolutions go to die? Do you recycle or trade in resolutions? I like the people who try to be inventive and ask everyone "So what are your resolutions this year?" ... then try to BRA-HA HA this brand new way to say the same thing they said and didn't do last year.
WOW - REALLY, DUDE?
no really?
What is it? You have the next day or even the next hour if your motivated to re-vamp the program. I get the whole mistakes make you resilient ... love that. I saw the same folks "WORKING OUT" last New Years ... 20 pounds heavier this NYE. Guess what their resolution was this time around ... "WORKING OUT AND REALLLY STICKING TO IT" and I KNEW they were serious because they put the emphasis on REALLY!!
I mean, don't get me wrong as cynical as this blog may be I'm a GREAT supporter of ideas. I love what's authentic as well as refurbished. Adore the creative and inventive ... by nature I'm practical, yet I'm a hopeless romantic - I like dates that leave the earth like hot air balloon rides with champgne and stomach aches. I respect what's real and at times appreciate and become infatuated with the elusive. I'm an ambivalent gypsy from another time ... yet I was birthed from my mothers womb on May the 18th way back in 1977.
Life is whatever you make it. A new second, minute, hour, day creates a new space upon your book of "ME".
Changing your resolutions won't make them stick, but changing you and your habits will make way for a new you in the new year and for that you don't have to wait out another 365 days!
Be your boss
Know yourself
Create your own life - dont let the New Year map it out and mold it for you!
Thanks for stopping by!
New Year ... New You? WTF?
::: WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR OLDER ADULT CARE CENTER ::
* Next Stop Heaven
* Purgatory's Paradise
* You Ditch Em - We Pitch Em
* Alzheimer's, Diaper's ... Dimentia - OH MY!
* Fraggle Rock
Thanks for stopping by!
::: HOTT-NESS:::
The HOTTNESS that is Michael Schmidt http://www.mesfoto.com/ ... This guy has been on my vision board since about a month after he and I first spoke. After I saw his work I KNEW one thing for certain and that was that I would be working with him. I had to work with him. His work (TO ME) is extra-ordinary, there is a quiet drama to it ... a story within a story and he's just DOPE AS HELL. So close to 8 months go by and not another word from me to Michael or him to myself for that matter. I had this constant brain worm of a story I wanted to shoot and I was in need of WARDROBE, that was my issuse so I thought. Not just any wardrobe ... high-end fall wardrobe ... edgy ... non-LA and without the essential that a stylist would need to access the digs. I was frustrated (i think) with folks telling me that I would NOT be able to get this project off the ground. Silly me. I worked against that ... got back into myself and worked it out. So I had already spoke to Michael but I said to myself I wont bother him until the timing is right. THIS WAS IT, and I didnt...
I sent one email to him and it was all said and done. This guy is the epitome of awesome, we clicked after the pitch ... we were in sync and there was a natural seamless flow to everything from that day on. I cannot say enough about him, his talents and his assistants. He's as down to earth as clay, quicker than a jack-rabbit all hopped up on Mountain Dew and I was speechless (but thankful he took a chance on me) once I set foot on set.
I CANNOT wait to share the super awesome goodness that we created together and I look forward to plenty more splendid things to come from working with him.
Life is as good as you make it ... thrills, spills, falls and all!
I am ecstatic at the endless possibilities that my life holds ...
Thanks for stopping by!
::: From R & R to FULLY CHARDED :::
So I somewhat forgot I had this thing called a blog ... my recent thoughts bring me to
Rest and relaxation and what I know is …
Calm clear blue skies
White sand beaches
Gorgeous waters
Lightly toasted crossed calves
And flanges gripping a nice Corona bottle
(insert commercial here) you can add the occasional birds chirping and hammocks but that’s the jest of it.
And I’m ready. Since my move I have not been able to completely un-wind and enjoy the fruits of my labor, blood, sweat and tears. I laugh, I play, I socialize … I drink but I don’t relax. I do, I’ve done it before and seen it done as well as heard about it thru the many stories of others … However I’ve yet to do it within the last year or so and I’m ready, willing and able. I got my “TO REST” list together, my bags are packed and I’m ready to hit the road running.
(pause... take a deep breath ... exhale ... smile and continue)
SEEEEE WHAT I MEAN???????!?!??!???!
See this below list of
HOW I FEEL TODAY AND OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS and I will run the gamut of just about all of them I’m sure. I would like to further add SHYTFACED, TRASHED and HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE to the list. (ex. See Loaded)
I have my reading material that I’m so pumped and jazzed about … one is “The Artist Way”. I will get back into it … Jati I never made it past Chapter One … but in all fairness I DID NOT go back and peek at my assignments. YEAH for that! The next on my list is THE DREAMGIVER which I’m sure I’ll read on the way over since I have no scripts to KNOCK me out for the flight. Boo to those who won’t allow ambient to be sold over the counter ... who cares if it’s for folks like I!
So I have not seen my bedroom floor in about 3 days BUT in all fairness I’ve been shooting and packing and visiting buds. One has to be social RIGHT? I’ve made some tremendous progress and I’m thrilled beyond thrilled (insert big cheesy smart word there). Part of my trip will be spent appreciating ME and all that I do as well. I am EXTREMLY hard on myself so if there is one person reading this that can stand up and say CRYSTAL you need to do so much more to be so much more IT WOULD BE Crystal Maria HANDS DOWN.
No more. I am blessed and I won’t spit out my list of things to be blessed for because I know this and this I know BUT the number one stunna on the list is I am blessed to be ME!
In my ripe ole age of 20 + 11 I've come to know (WOW another blog someday soon THE THINGS I'VE COME TO KNOW!)
* NOT everyone has my best interest at heart...
* That, some who wish me well secretly despise my efforts and tenacity...
* I am fooling no one but myself to believe that in an failed effort to not procrastinate ... I sleep less, think more, make phone calls earlier so my day only seems like lots of hours with naps inbetween....
* Not everyone who makes me laugh is a friend
* I WILLdo the things of leisure on my list one day...
AND
* Broccoli IS a little betta with chedda...
but I digress as I often do. I tell you my head is a spinning with the thought of getting away. Sleeping in … lying around … not rushing to hop in the shower and out the door, and cold drinks out of coconut shells.
DISCLAIMER FOR BAHAMAS:
I am not the Crystal from 1994
I will not be doing everyone’s make-up
Before we walk out the door!
Hope you get the memo!
XOXOX
And I'll leave you with some recent food for thought ... see above blog!
Thanks for stopping by!
:: PASSION vs DRIVE ::
So today I’m feeling some kind of something … speechless with such a great sense of CLARITY. Un-named feelings flutter around my big ole head as I try to make sense of some things. Well I actually know what some of the feelings are but I don’t want to say-here, maybe I’ll right them in my morning pages to address them properly.
When I first decided I wanted to become a make-up artist before entering into the world of paint and passion I had to decide which avenue I wanted to take. Make-up artist is a vague term … there are so many avenues to travel. I’ve always been attracted to fashion. Be it magazines, the fashion channel or on the faces of nameless folks I pass on the street. The folks, who have the “AUDICITY” to truly express themselves, kick ass. Because it’s all about audacity, attitude follows, among the count-less clones.
But I digress …
Getting back on the subject … once I told myself my heart was on the editorial side of the business I felt a certain pull. Things begin to come naturally … there was a melodic flow to this beginning cycle. Certainly not an easy one to triumph but I like most was up for the challenge. I told myself I didn’t want to be a “Wedding” make-up artist … I saw that as a trap. Like Effie White in Dreamgirl’s – “Singing back up is a trap” … I’d rather become a sought after make-up artist and be requested to do weddings, but I certainly didn’t want to market myself as such, and I didn’t no matter what the temptation was. I tried to one day but during the process I become bored. It wasn’t me. Like AustinPowers, “That’s not my bag, baby … I swear”.
If I saw a photographer who photographed weddings I was immediately turned off from his work and would be reluctant to shoot with him. As with working at the counter, I love free-lancing at the counter – well I found I tricked myself into loving it. I started to focus on the money, and then I found myself turning down gigs that I’d much rather be doing, gigs that would create better substance for my working portfolio. As daunting as it may seem it paid some bills, so I trade one 9 to 5 for another? I begin to treat it like a "JOB" and like most "JOBS" we're reluctant to go to ... I didn't want that for my colored life. At least at a desk I can pretend I’m working while setting up shoots and contacting folks, and my feet and back don’t ache as much at the end of the day.
I begin to pick and choose my shoots with a more decisive eye, I never found myself just shooting with ANYONE but my caliber of photographers, models and stylist to work with grew and changed along with my passion and drive. Some kind of way I knew I needed all these aspects to make a great picture. If shooting with you was NOT going to allow my picture to be comparable to what’s in the magazines at that time then why waste it. TIME! AUDICITY! I loved it. I had direction, vision and goals. Getting responses from people I had only dreamed of working with sent me on such a high. Even if the response was a little advice or direction there dialect was exchanged. For a moment this person knew who CRYSTAL MARIA was. They saw something. This AUDICITY has abled me to work with amazingly talented artist who's work can still be seen in my book some 3-4 years later! (see opening image)
Then I explore ... I want to someday do movies, I’d done what was expected for my market at the time (DC) but now I want major titles … and I will get them. Who as an artist wouldn’t love working alongside a key named Ve’Neil on the next Johnny Depp film. She’s amazing. So thinking ahead I take a course in special FX make-up and I love it. I find for me it’s about the process of creating. Yet and still my heart goes back to Editorial … it’s always about the images, but I have options now and I’m always looking to expand.
So I fall in love with highly skilled make-up artist like, Rebecca Sommers, Alice G., Polly Osmond and of course Pat McGrath. I mean she really change how I look at make-up and Runway. I now saw Runway as this lively animated attractive fashion show and I wanted to be amidst the chaos. A walking story straight out of Italian Vouge and I wanted some … so I; being a native east-coaster always dreamed of NY fashion week! I mean outside of Paris (who were always treading 6 months behind), that’s where it all happens. But it didn’t happen, not for me. I couldn’t find my loop hole … I think I was trying to soon, I grew tired of the hunt and focused on what I knew. Editorial. I knew I wanted more... and I knew it would come in due time. So a couple weeks into me moving to LA I get to do LA Fashion Week and I’m shocked, it’s just happened upon me, me seeking out some EDITORIAL , new contact and loot I was asked to join in rank. I experienced backstage chaos and I loved it, I’m sure it has nothing onBryant Park but I’ll take it, and I did … take it. It was such a rush … it left a taste in my mouth that sung out for MORE.
(look at - I even painted her little white nails ... which later became smudged from her idle time texting)
I inhaled the moment and soon realized that all the things in my life struggles and all were put in place to prepare me for the journey I’m on now. EVERYTHING every single minute of my life including the people, lessons and burned bridges were steps. Steps marked I DARE YOU, AUDICITY, LIVE, SELF-WORTH, ADVERSITY, UN-COMPROMISING, FAITH, COURAGE … and the list goes on…
If your passionate about something you don’t know how to CUT the passion off, there is no limit. You find out what works for you and what doesn’t and you work at it. Passion doesn’t allow you to rest at the root of someone else’s dreams or settle in fear of no security or structure. Passion burns. It’s a screeching you can’t ignore. If your Driven ... what drives you?
This is one that you really have to be honest with yourself about.
I was once asked if I thought it was better to have Passion or to have drive?
I’ll let you decide, I know my answer.
Thanks for stopping by!
:: JINGO, GRILLED SALMON & GODDESS ::
SIGE - THE GODDESS OF SILENCE!
My weekend will be filled with (until my shoots on Sunday) quiet time, creative time and meditative time... I inspire to do more.
Goddess of silence: She is the eternal silence that was before anything, and will be after everything. She is the space around the stars. She is the highest form of truth and perfection. She reminds us to listen to our own silence for there we will find truth. Be still ... Blessed Be
Sige: Silence. Primal Creatress of Gnostics, who said Silence was the Mother of the Great Goddess Herself. Out of Her was born the first Word, the Logos of Creation.
Sige: is the Gnostic representation of the great silence from which life sprang forth. For me, Sige represents the feminine aspects of our existence—the intuitive knowledge, the seeking within, the inner life forces that are such a great part of our spirituality. Without seeking within, we would not know enlightenment. She is within each of us, She is the great silence that speaks so loudly to us. She is the silence from which our power comes.
She is the silence from which our inspiration is born.
:: 20's are CUTE, 30's Divine, 40's are sexy & 50's are right on time ::
Worship Yourself Today ...
Conversations about the 30’s today had me pulling on my “Debbie Downer” pants and “Negative Nelly” shirt to match.
UGH!
Why do we do that? Make excuses about things that can easily be fixed. I am lazy at times, I procrastinate, and I don’t do what I rightfully know I should be doing.
When I get in the mood I can blodly argue off a defensive list of excuses for duties that I let fall into the “don’t care to do” space … lackadaisical and I know it. Yet I continue this repetitive routine.
This is where we break for libations!
Last night while out on the town I was surrounded by 20 something, bronzed skin, ponytail flipping, long legged creatures that reminded me of something I once was. I was forced to write my real age down on a piece of paper and it glared back at me.
WHAT THE!
30?
When did that happen?
Now, certainly I don’t fit the long legged description … my legs are rather like backwards bookends (see there I go again), but the air that surrounded these women was a beautiful thing to see. I was in that air before and I sometimes revert back to that place after I spend days of preparation and hours in front of the mirror primping and prepping.
Oh how I love to get into costume when I go out …
It’s so easy to put BACK things on the body that used to be somewhere else when you can afford to have Dr. Who’s it What’s it nip and tuck you back into place. But what do you do when you can't rely on this method? Blame circumstances … or yourself?
When you see an older woman, say in her late 40’s early 50’s with her stuff in order – what is the first thought that comes to mind?
My mind says – I want some of that jerky juice your sipping on … then I run to the mirror, twist, turn and pivot checking all my good areas. The places where the light shines the best in photographs, also known as “MY GOOD SIDE”. Where my stomach doesn’t split into two when I sit or bend and where my back doesn’t re-create an un-asked for pocket with certain uncontrollable gestures.
If you were paid for your looks would you do things differently? Certianly we would.
Turn it on ALL THE TIME even if you’re in the grocery store with your gym/work ensemble … we sometimes forget how beautiful we are ALL the time. That is what was beautiful about my 20 something years … I knew what my flaws were and highlighted then without notice. I didn’t give a lick about what I had or didn’t have my confidence walked through the door first and all else followed.
Make pretend these average Joe’s walking the streets are your Paparazzi Nazi’s and play into it. These pictures are make believe ... at any given moment these celebs have someone poking, pinning and tucking away all the not so plesant stuff.
Ps. did you check out the images of the 30 something club serving it up to the 20 something brezzy's ... with a little more style and finesse! I love a good dish...
